Hilly and the Great Man

(With apologies to Tanya Tucker.)

He came ridin' in on the sunrise on a hot West New York day
A fancy man in a golden limo with some fancy things to say
Looks like you folks need some greatness, well, greatness is my game
And if you folks can raise some one trillion dollars, I betcha I can make you great

Step back, nonbelievers, or the great will never come
Someone start them crosses a-burning, somebody stroke my bum
He said, some may think I'm crazy for making all these claims
But I swear before this year is over you folks are gonna be so great

They all just stood there a-staring, trying to believe
But there was one named Hilly Clinton who said he was a lying cheat
She said, you call yourself a great man, well, you oughta be ashamed
Starting all these people dreamin', thinking you can make 'em great

Step back, nonbelievers, or the great will never come
Someone keep them crosses a-burning, somebody stroke my bum
He said, some may think I'm crazy for making all these claims
But I swear before this year is over you folks are gonna be so great

Hey, Hilly, well, a man's got to have a dream
And if you will come on inside with me, I'll grope you in between
Oh, come with me, Hilly, and the arse will write your name
And if you still think I'm lying to you, look yonder, there comes the great

Step back, nonbelievers, or the great will never come
Someone keep them crosses a-burning, somebody stroke my bum
He said, some may think I'm crazy for making all these claims
But I swear before this year is over you folks are gonna be so great

[Repeat and fade]

Happy 2015!

Happy New Year! Happy 2015!

Merry Christmas from Satan Claus

Drunken Bums, or Merry Christmas from Satan Claus, or Christmas in the Ghetto

Ghetto sidewalks, dirty sidewalks dressed in vomit and bile,

In the air there's a feeling like dry rot

Children brawling, people passing, picking fight after fight

And on every street corner you hear — drunken bums

(Drunken bums, drunken bums)

Drunken bums

(Drunken bums)

It's Christmas time in the ghetto

Ring-a-ling

(Ring-a-ling, ring-a-ling)

Hear them sing

Soon it will be judgment day

Broken street lights although cop lights blink a bright red and blue

As the pigs rush by to commit murder

Hear the shots speed, see the kids bleed

This is Satan's big scene

And above all this carnage you hear

Drunken bums

(Drunken bums, drunken bums)

Drunken bums

(Drunken bums)

It's Christmas time in the ghetto

Ring-a-ling

(Ring-a-ling, ring-a-ling)

Hear them sing

Soon it will be judgment day

Drunken bums

(Drunken bums, drunken bums)

Drunken bums

(Drunken bums)

It's Christmas time in the ghetto

Ring-a-ling

(Ring-a-ling, ring-a-ling)

Hear them sing

Soon it will be — judgment day

Wave in an Ice Bucket

An open letter to all the collectivist morons that participated in the notorious "ALS ice bucket challenge."

Rarely have I encountered on this planet full of morons a horror as revolting as this ice bucket nonsense. First off, the obvious.

Making donations based not on data where a donation might do good, but on stupid pranks and videos predictably leads to a massive misallocation of resources.

Then, this stupid stunt can quite easily kill the very people trying to save lives the armchair activist way. Getting doused with cold water on a hot day can easily give you a heart attack, and at least one person died jumping into a particularly large "bucket."

But far worse than any misallocated money or death from freak accident is the sheer primeval mob spirit in which these pranks are performed.

When do you soaked, shivering rocket surgeons exactly plan to use your brains, to the extent that you have any, and start thinking for yourselves? When someone nominates you for a "light a firecracker in your mouth" challenge? When Al Qaida collects $100 million because they have a cool video? Before you vote for the next fuehrer because he has a cool party trick?

If you cheer mob spirit and irrationality, if "nominating," shaming, guilting, peer pressure, and blind following is the coin of your realm, this is what you are cheering on:

Don't ask who is destroying the world. You are.

If the world goes down your path, you are going to solve the ALS issue ironically, because people will once again be slaughtering each other before they ever get a chance to develop ALS, just like in the Dark Ages, just like in World War II. That is the nature of barbarity.

As ironically, if you would quit wasting time on collectivist blackmail and use it instead for teaching people to think for themselves, people would become more productive, GDP would increase, and more money would be available for all research even without pressuring people to give. That is the nature of progress.

You and your methods are disgusting, no matter how noble you claim the ends you advocate to be. Plus, wet, you look ridiculous. Now go away and be ashamed of yourselves.

Surfin' NSA

(With apologies to the Bitch Boys Beach Boys.)

If everybody was like Snowden

Across the USA

Then everybody'd be surfin'

Phreakin' the CIA

You'd see 'em breakin' out netbooks

Anarchic vandals, too,

With tablets, smart phones, and dumb Nooks

Surfin' NSA

You'd catch 'em surfin' at Langley (inside, outside USA),

Anne Arundel County line (inside, outside USA),

At the ports and bases (inside, outside USA)

Mediterranean (inside, outside USA),

All over Manhattan (inside, outside USA),

And on Doheny Drive (inside, outside USA)

Everybody's gone surfin'

Surfin' NSA

We'll all be crackin' us a router

We're gonna take real soon

We're bringin' down their networks

We can't wait for June

We'll all be gone for the summer

We're on safari to stay

Tell Obama we're surfin'

Surfin' NSA

At Feinstein's and Schumer's (inside, outside USA),

Pacific carriers base (inside, outside USA),

Foggy Bottom and Georgetown (inside, outside USA),

Outside the Pentagon (inside, outside USA),

All over the Beltway (inside, outside USA),

At Waimea Bay (inside, outside USA)

Everybody's gone surfin'

Surfin' NSA

Everybody's gone surfin'

Surfin' NSA

Everybody's gone surfin'

Surfin' NSA

Everybody's gone surfin'

Surfin' NSA

Yeah, everybody's gone surfin'

Surfin' NSA

Yeah, everybody's gone surfin'

Surfin' NSA

Why Men and Women Never Get Along

She just said, "Do you want to marry me?"

She thinks she said, "Do you want to be the father of my children and live with me happily ever after?"

He heard, "Do you want to give me half your stuff and pay me a pension once I leave you?"

Scottish Objectivist Explains Benefits of Smoking

In this enlightening video, a Scottish objectivist explains the benefits of smoking: Smoking is where all the great ideas come from.

"My life was terrible without cigarettes. I did nothing with my time. I was like, 'Oh, where am I going? What am I doing?' Now my life is rich and true and good and strong."

It even is good for your lungs:

"It makes your lungs bigger 'cause you're sucking."



Here it is with subtitles:


SCROOGIN ON A GREG by willanderson0

A Simple Way to Control the Fundies

Here's a simple way to get the fundies and conservatives under control: Everything that is illegal for some group of people automatically becomes illegal for Christians.

Gays can't marry? Fine, Christians can't marry, either.

Teenagers can't have sex? Fine, Christians can't have sex, either.

Weed is illegal? Fine, so is altar wine.

Let's see how long they can stand their own medicine. 

Happy Birthday, America!

Happy Birthday, America! Here's the present:

The Case of the Kidnapped O'Connors, free to download for your Kindle today, July 4, 2013, midnight to midnight Pacific Time. The Case of the Kidnapped O'Connors, the new Kevin Traynor mystery. A locked room mystery about art, anarchy, objectivity, and madness.

When his girlfriend's prized paintings are stolen from the Metropolitan Museum of Art, Kevin Traynor has to find them fast, lest she slip from her usual objectivity and rationality into madness, mayhem, and murder. There is no lack of suspects — and no way how any human being can have smuggled the paintings out of that proverbial locked room. There simply is no explanation that is both rational and plausible. The hunt for the thief leads the couple into one dead end after another. It dawns on Traynor that the only way to find the thief is to find the paintings... But is he up against a mere mortal thief, or against The Phantom of the Met?

Kevin Traynor. With the right to be politically incorrect.

US Doesn't Understand the Concept "Ally"

What do the Mongol Empire, the objectivists, and the US government have in common?

They have no concept of "ally."

The Mongols knew only three conditions of foreign relations: "enemies", "conquered," or "in rebellion." The concept of "ally" was foreign to them.

In 1245, Pope Innocent IV wrote a letter to the Mongols, expressing a desire for "peace." But in the Mongol language, "peace" is a synonym for "subjection."

Khan Güyük understood it the only way he could and replied with a demand for submission:

You must say with a sincere heart: "We will be your subjects; we will give you our strength." You must in person come with your kings, all together, without exception, to render us service and pay us homage. Only then will we acknowledge your submission.

As for the objectivists:

As advocates of laissez-faire capitalism, avowedly committed to the supremacy of reason, it seemed as if the Randians would be valuable allies.

But the Randians did not understand the concept of "allies": in their universe, you either agreed with all of their positions, or else you were consigned to the Outer Darkness.

As the Edward Snowden affair has shown, the imperial federal government is no different. It expects to get everything in return for nothing. It expects unconditional and absolute submission to the evil empire.

The US government believes it can spy on the citizens of its allies, without bothering to obey its allies' privacy laws or applying for search warrants from its allies' courts. But then it expects those same courts it contemned to extradite its fugitives.

It's either or. Either Hong Kong and Russia are the United States' allies, or they are not.

If they are allies, how can the US government dare to bypass their laws and their courts and to violate the rights or their citizens? If they are not allies, why should they comply with US requests?

It appears that for the US government, too, there are no allies, but only conquered provinces, which have a duty to pay tribute to the US, no matter what outrage the US has perpetrated against their citizens the day before.