Big Gaffe Eats Small Gaff

"Perry gaffe overshadows defiant Cain, Romney scrutiny," opines MSNBC writer Michael O'Brien.

He goes on to elaborate:

While a CNBC debate featured the most scrutiny to date of former Massachusetts Gov. Mitt Romney's economic plans, and was highlighted by Herman Cain's first debate appearance since the emergence of sexual harassment against him, a gaffe from the Texas governor took center stage and threatened to crystallize Republicans' concerns about his candidacy.

True, what is going on is the sexual harassment of Herman Cain at the hands of some deluded women. But I suspect O'Brien did reveal this truth only involuntarily. He probably meant to write: "since the emergence of sexual harassment charges against him."

This one typo would be funny and ironic on its own, but O'Brien continues:

"The American people deserve better than someone being tried in the court of public opinion based on unfounded accusations," Cain said to wild cheers in the early moments of the debate. "This country's looking for leadership, and this is why a lot of people, despite what has happened over the last nine days … the voters have voted with their dollars, and they are saying we they don't care about character assasination -- they care about leadership and getting this economy gooing and all the other problems that we face."

I'll overlook the fact that he can't spell "assassination," but I submit that the economy is already gooed up enough as it is.

Looks like MSNBC shortened its deadlines way too much lately. I wonder whether they are keeping their writers chained down in the dungeon now?

And they call us pajamas media. At least I'm wearing my pajamas. MSNBC's word slaves are probably naked in their dungeon.

Ristorante Ecoli Hamburg Now Open!

First we took Staunton — now we take Hamburg! Ristorante Ecoli Hamburg is now open for business!

Unfortunately, we had to get rid of the sniper rifle on the balcony due to local gun laws. But you can try our fresh bean sprouts at half price! A little complimentary surprise with every dish of bean sprouts!

Or visit us on the web:

http://www.grandtheftwiki.com/Ristorante_Ecoli

Dude, not funny? Well, then take it as a public service announcement.

Don't eat sprouts. Ever.

If you eat sprouts, you're asking for E. coli. (If the feds have to outlaw something, they should outlaw sprouts instead of weed. But I digress.)

Who eats that shit, anyway? I mean, really.

It's esthetically praiseworthy if you don't want to go the way of the beached whale, but steering clear of high-fructose corn syrup should be enough. Don't have to ingest those germ plants.

At least we know now why it's called Germany.

All Should Be Equally Poor, Says Cuban Commie

Life imitating art — this pervert is like a certain character from my book Mysterious Boat.

Then there are people like Juan — a Communist Party faithful, also in his 70s, who doesn't want much to change. "Raul is playing with fire," he says.

He remembers the social inequities that plagued Cuban society before the 1959 Revolution and fears a return to what he calls "institutionalized inequality" if private enterprise is given the space to take root.

"Some people just think about what we don't have here without appreciating what we've built."

They've built — nothing. The commie motto: Not to each his own, but for all the same — even if it's nothing.

Inequality isn't institutionalized in the social system of capitalism — inequality is institutionalized in human nature.

Men are not equal in intelligence, rationality, ability, diligence, and productivity. In a free society, the more able will always prosper more than the less able. Material equality means robbing the intelligent to give to the stupid and robbing the diligent to give to the lazy. The only way to achieve a semblance of material equality in a society is by abolishing liberty — by looting — by resorting to the guillotine and decapitating those who refuse to obey — by cutting off the heads that house the ablest minds. In other words: socialism. (Torch in the Night, p. 126.)

Boris Johnson, What Have You Done?

Some public-spirited oiks were about to off that hippie bitch, Franny Armstrong, but hizzoner had to play the knight on a shiny bicycle.

We learn a very ecological lesson: Everything in nature has its purpose. Oiks kill hippies, so that hippies cannot blow up humans.

If man interferes with this fragile balance of nature, it is man who suffers in the end. If oiks are hunted, they cannot kill hippies, and hippies will murder humans.

The circle of life…

(Dude, not funny? Franny, you asked for it.)

Writer's Groupie, Eight Letters

Date: [Today]
Subject: [Job]
From: [Client]
To: [Alex]

Please translate the attached resource file to [languages].

Wordcunt - 298

Thanks,

[Client]

(Currently sarging for wordcunt #299.)

Alex Loves Virginia

Reason and Liberty Central would like to tender its belated congratulations to the Commonwealth of Virginia on its abolition of the slavish institution of marriage.

Virginia is for lovers

Ground Hero?

I have already addressed the treasonous stupidity of calling the World Trade Center site "ground zero." However, calling it "ground hero," as the preceding article suggests, isn't that much better.

Whoever came up with that would never recognize a pun if it bit him in the ass. Ground hero? As in "ground up hero"? As in "ground beef"? As in "hero sandwich"?

For a place where human beings were indeed crushed and ground to dust? A rather ghoulish and thoughtless moniker.

Built, destroyed, and rebuilt, it was, is, and always will be the World Trade Center.

Illegitimi non carborundum.

Some Like It Hot or Not?

"This cold weather is killing me," said Alex, then reached into the freezer for some chocolate chip ice cream.

Well, whatever.

Could I Have My Two Degrees Now?

Snowplows cleared the runway at Andrews Air Force Base in suburban Washington as President Obama returned from the climate summit in Copenhagen. The White House said Obama rode in a motorcade back to the White House, instead of taking his helicopter, because of the conditions.

"Anyone who still believes in global warming should be frozen until he admits that to be frozen is not the same as to be warmed."

— Avicenna

Two (or twenty, for that matter) degrees of global warming doesn't sound too bad right now.

But Will He Ever Show?

Don't buy a house from this man. ;)

Well, I guess you can try, but it will do you no good. :)

I think I know a chick or two that are related to him. :P

Interview with the Vampire, Frank Walter Steinmeier

Speaking of foreign ministers, the loser of the German election for village idiot, outgoing (in the bad sense) foreign minister Frank Walter Steinmeier, graciously granted Reason and Liberty Central an audience in the palace of the dictatorship of the people in Berlin, capital of fascism.

RLC: Given that emasculating election result, do you feel discriminated against? Do you think that the people voted you out on account of your name, Herr Swinemeier? Did you ever consider changing your name?

Steinmeier: Excuse me. My name isn't Swinemeier. It's Steinmeier.

RLC: Oh, you already changed it?

Steinmeier: No. I didn't change anything. I've never been called Swinemeier.

RLC: Really? Did you ever consider changing your name into Swinemeier? It might be good luck. The people might even elect you village idiot in four years.

Steinmeier: &?%$!*$$!!

RLC: That was really uncalled for, Herr Swinemeier. There's no need for such language. Though of course one can forgive a lot to a man whose own parents named him Wank Wanker.

Steinmeier: Gaaa!

The doctors' consensus is that Mr. Swinemeier may be released from his padded cell in time to run in the next election for village idiot, though he may have to keep wearing his straitjacket.

Reason and Liberty Central intends to interview more politicians.