Surfin' NSA

(With apologies to the Bitch Boys Beach Boys.)

If everybody was like Snowden

Across the USA

Then everybody'd be surfin'

Phreakin' the CIA

You'd see 'em breakin' out netbooks

Anarchic vandals, too,

With tablets, smart phones, and dumb Nooks

Surfin' NSA

You'd catch 'em surfin' at Langley (inside, outside USA),

Anne Arundel County line (inside, outside USA),

At the ports and bases (inside, outside USA)

Mediterranean (inside, outside USA),

All over Manhattan (inside, outside USA),

And on Doheny Drive (inside, outside USA)

Everybody's gone surfin'

Surfin' NSA

We'll all be crackin' us a router

We're gonna take real soon

We're bringin' down their networks

We can't wait for June

We'll all be gone for the summer

We're on safari to stay

Tell Obama we're surfin'

Surfin' NSA

At Feinstein's and Schumer's (inside, outside USA),

Pacific carriers base (inside, outside USA),

Foggy Bottom and Georgetown (inside, outside USA),

Outside the Pentagon (inside, outside USA),

All over the Beltway (inside, outside USA),

At Waimea Bay (inside, outside USA)

Everybody's gone surfin'

Surfin' NSA

Everybody's gone surfin'

Surfin' NSA

Everybody's gone surfin'

Surfin' NSA

Everybody's gone surfin'

Surfin' NSA

Yeah, everybody's gone surfin'

Surfin' NSA

Yeah, everybody's gone surfin'

Surfin' NSA

US Doesn't Understand the Concept "Ally"

What do the Mongol Empire, the objectivists, and the US government have in common?

They have no concept of "ally."

The Mongols knew only three conditions of foreign relations: "enemies", "conquered," or "in rebellion." The concept of "ally" was foreign to them.

In 1245, Pope Innocent IV wrote a letter to the Mongols, expressing a desire for "peace." But in the Mongol language, "peace" is a synonym for "subjection."

Khan Güyük understood it the only way he could and replied with a demand for submission:

You must say with a sincere heart: "We will be your subjects; we will give you our strength." You must in person come with your kings, all together, without exception, to render us service and pay us homage. Only then will we acknowledge your submission.

As for the objectivists:

As advocates of laissez-faire capitalism, avowedly committed to the supremacy of reason, it seemed as if the Randians would be valuable allies.

But the Randians did not understand the concept of "allies": in their universe, you either agreed with all of their positions, or else you were consigned to the Outer Darkness.

As the Edward Snowden affair has shown, the imperial federal government is no different. It expects to get everything in return for nothing. It expects unconditional and absolute submission to the evil empire.

The US government believes it can spy on the citizens of its allies, without bothering to obey its allies' privacy laws or applying for search warrants from its allies' courts. But then it expects those same courts it contemned to extradite its fugitives.

It's either or. Either Hong Kong and Russia are the United States' allies, or they are not.

If they are allies, how can the US government dare to bypass their laws and their courts and to violate the rights or their citizens? If they are not allies, why should they comply with US requests?

It appears that for the US government, too, there are no allies, but only conquered provinces, which have a duty to pay tribute to the US, no matter what outrage the US has perpetrated against their citizens the day before.

Open Letter to Bill Nelson re Ed Snowden

In reply to "NSA Surveillance Efforts Are Effective, Limited, and Legal" by one Senator Bill Nelson:

General warrants for all the phone numbers there are are highly unconstitutional, no matter if they're "only" for the metadata.

If you believe it makes any difference if you're spying "only" on foreigners, you should not be surprised if your allies thus spied on stop being your allies and stop caring whether or not you get hit by another terrorist attack — and stop extraditing "criminals" to you, as well.

As for the alleged terrorist attacks your spying stopped: Pics, or it didn't happen.

Ed Snowden is an American hero. Your actions and thoughts, sir, are un-American.

It is you that betrayed the principles of your founding fathers, and it is you that is to blame that liberty is once more homeless on earth, as Lafayette would have put it. Shame on you.