Thursday, April 30, 2009

Obama's First Hundred Days: D+

Protecting personal rights: A

His repeal of fundie insanity re tissue sample stem cell research, abortion, etc. by far outweighs his insane notions to further restrict gun rights.

Protecting economic rights: F

Sorry, robbing money from productive people to support failing businesses (which have been encouraged to behave irrationally by government regulation in the first place) is not a good idea, not even to prop things up. Dubya raised hell, and Obama's putting a prop under it. His global warming nonsense doesn't help things, either.

Total grade: D+ (Can't get anything better than a D with a failing grade on the report card.)

Quote of the Day

"I can't pay you and I wouldn't pay you if I could! Some young gang just jacked out the place! They took everything! You guys are useless. What kind of Yakuza are YOU anyway…? This ain't what I pay you goons for. If I wanted this kind of protection I'd have used the god damn police service."

— Uncle BJ, Grand Theft Auto III.

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Capitalism Countless, Government 0

I'm not a guy to go, "I told you so," but I told you so. Here the latest example of private citizens doing the job the government pretends to do, and not even getting pork chop in return.

Veratect, a private security firm, detected the swine flu outbreak weeks ago, warned the government morons — and, predictably, was ignored.

First alert: April 6.

Health pigs: "Let's have another donut."

Second alert: April 16.

Health pigs: "Let's have another donut."

Third alert: April 20.

By that time, the epidemic was out of control.

Oink, oink, oink.

If anyone in the US dies of swine flu, Obama and his minions are as guilty of their death as if they had themselves pulled the trigger.

And over at Fascist Simpering Morons, they bash anarchists and claim the government is there to protect you. Well, it can't.

The government is a coercive monopoly, and coercive monopolies have no incentive to do a good job. Even if there are one or two good pigs in the "world health police" sty who really want to protect people, they're being trampled by a herd of authoritarian, pointy-haired bureaucrat pigs.

The "anarchists," the capitalists, were the first to arrive on the scene. And as governments monopolize security, there was nothing capitalists could do to contain the emergency. Had they invaded Mexico to do the job governments failed to do, they would have been accused of rebellion, terrorism, kidnapping, and murder.

And governments? Did they do the work they forbid others to do?

No. They went for another donut.

Government pigs can and do kidnap and murder weed smokers, but they fail to restrain human time bombs that refuse to stay home when they caught the flu, and thus murder countless innocent human beings. As the saying goes, there's always a pig if you don't need him, and never if once in a blue moon you do need a pig.


Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Senator Specter Does the Right Thing

"As the Republican Party has moved farther and farther to the right, I have found myself increasingly at odds with the Republican philosophy and more in line with the philosophy of the Democratic Party."

"One of the key interests I have is medical research… which… saved and prolonged many lives, including my own."

"I will not be changing my own personal independence or my own approach to individual issues."

"I will not hesitate to disagree and vote my independent thinking and what I consider as a matter of conscience to be in the interest of the state and nation."

"The principles that I subscribe to are my independence…"

Sounds a bit like a Howard Roark speech, even if it was likely written by a speechwriter.

Apparently, there still are some reasonable people in government. Go figure.

A Modest Proposal: Ban Swine Flu

One thing I find hard to understand is why swine flu is still legal. Why do we encourage our kids to try swine flu by keeping stuff like that legal?

As I'm writing this, greedy, unconscionable hedonists are in defiance of reason and self-preservation traveling to Mexico to smuggle back swine flu and distribute it on the street to our children. They need to be saved from themselves and stopped from harming our children.

If swine flu is outlawed, kids will know it is evil and not experiment with it. If Obama is serious about protecting innocent lives, he will deploy troops to end the anarchy in Mexico, burn the swine flu plantations, and bring to justice the swine flu barons.

It's well-known how effective bans like these are. Evidence: Since the pope's bull against the comet in 1456, no comet has hit earth.

White House: Panic Now!

" 'It's not a time to panic,' the White House said."

In my experience, panic never helps. But apparently, the White House begs to differ.

If "it's not a time to panic" now, that implies some other time is a time to panic. When?

Of course when Obama orders his private looted jet, paid for with tax stolen money, to bear down on Lower Manhattan. You see, Obama loves to see his peons panic, run, and scream incoherently.

By the way, it must be nice to have a talking house.

A house is a house, of course, of course,
And no one can talk to a house of course
That is, of course, unless the house is the famous Mr. B'rack.

Go right to the source and ask the house
He'll give you the answer that you'll endorse.
He's always on a steady course.
Talk to Mr. B'rack.

People yakkity yak a streak and waste your time of day
But Mr. B'rack will never speak unless he has something to say.

A house is a house, of course, of course,
And this one'll talk till his voice is hoarse.
You never heard of a talking house?

Well, listen to this.

I am Mr. B'rack.

(And I scare the shit out of you suckers with my 747!)

Sunday, April 26, 2009

No More Fun with Fundies

I unsubscribed from the Fundie Security-blanket Morons' spam list. I can't believe I had to physically do it myself.

You'd think they'd get a hint, with all those snarky captions I sent them for their stupid propaganda contests. But then they probably harvested my email off a CC list — what can you expect from folks like those?

Well, I was getting bored dissecting always the same old fascist shit. Besides, those fascists are so revolting, they damn near made me a liberal, and I don't want to be a liberal.

Liberals are just as dumb as fascists. Just that they worship the "working " class, the international community, and other mobs, instead of god, tradition, race, and country.

Well, maybe they'll kill each other off… But then we reasonable people would get caught in the cross fire. Just like in World War II.

Anyway, it would sooner or later have given me stomach ulcers. Plus, as Friedrich Nietzsche and Ayn Rand had it, "It is not my function to be a flyswatter."

Monday, April 20, 2009

Torch in the Night Available as an E-Book

Kevin Traynor's first adventure, Torch in the Night, is now available as an e-book for only $2.99, instead of $15.99 (list price) for the dead tree edition, which nevertheless remains available to be added to your library.

You save 81%, because 100% of the savings from not having to manufacture and move a physical book is passed on to the reader.

Of course, you can read the first chapters before you buy.

If the nations of the world were to unite — against what would they unite? Against whom?
Manhattan corporate lawyer Kevin Traynor gets entangled in a conspiracy that threatens to destroy his world — in the name of humanity.

Through the skyscraper canyons of Manhattan, along the Old Man River, to the boondocks of Old Europe, and over the roofs of Paris Traynor has to hunt a secret that is about to end civilization as we know it. The hurricane of the century, enemy jetfighters, explosions, and earth-shattering disaster — what can stop him? And whom can he trust? The government? His associates? His friends? His mysterious new lover? Himself? Anyone? Who is scheming to bring about the end of the world? Greedy businessmen? Corrupt politicians? Religious fanatics? Or...

Kevin Traynor. With the right to be politically incorrect.

Still Number One

After the recent rogues' gallery of fundie spam by ugly Americans, it's only fitting that it be balanced with some good news.

" 'Made in the USA' Still Means Something — Despite Downturn, the Nation Remains the World's Leading Manufacturer"

…the U.S. "by far remains the world's leading manufacturer," producing goods valued at a record $1.6 trillion in 2007 — nearly double the $811 billion produced a decade earlier. … "For every $1 of value produced in China's factories [in 2007], America generated $2.50." Not bad for a country that doesn't produce anything anymore.

So why is our country, admired worldwide for its optimism, now enveloped in self-doubt and defeatism? One explanation is politics: Politicians and interest groups find it much easier to move their agendas forward during times of angst. Many of them therefore deliberately fuel the public's anxiety.

In fact, even in the midst of a global recession, the U.S. exported an estimated $1.377 trillion worth of goods last year, according to the authoritative CIA World Factbook. Nearly half of the exports were capital goods: aircraft, computers, electric power machinery, office machines, telecommunications equipment, and the like.

So what should be done?

1. Policymakers need to address the right problem.

For many years now, Washington has been attempting legislatively to discourage U.S. plant closings. But the closing of certain production facilities is often a sign of renewal: a naturally occurring phenomenon in which the old and outdated is replaced by something new. As Manufacturers Alliance/MAPI Chief Economist Daniel Meckstroth has noted, the "death rate in manufacturing" really isn't significantly higher than in the past. What has changed, Meckstroth says, "is that the creation of new factories has dropped so dramatically."

If Meckstroth is right and the problem is that too few new factories are opening, Washington should encourage companies to invest in new plants and equipment. It also needs to identify and change existing policies that discourage the building of new factories.

A recurring theme in my conversations with U.S. CEOs is that the effort it takes to build a new plant is barely worth it anymore. There's just too much red tape, too many hoops to jump through, too much bureaucracy, too many special interests fighting you tooth and nail, too many unnecessary, if not nonsensical rules to contend with, too many permits and legal roadblocks.

2. Executives need to speak up with candor.

We all know that Washington is as much to blame for our economic woes as any company or industry. But most executives are reluctant to speak up, except through the trade groups they support and the lobbyists they hire. This may be the price companies pay when they seek favors from government. So let's declare a moratorium, wherever possible, on government handouts — and speak forthrightly about policies that are hurting your company and how they might be changed to accomplish the same goals without the destructive side effects.

Monday, April 13, 2009

Nutcases Get You Coming and Going

This poor, apparently semi-sane fellow deluded into writing for Fascist Security Matters has a point about global warming: Someone that believes in global warming is a

genuine cuckoo who probably checks under the bed every night to make sure the bogyman isn't there.

Are these people crazy? You bet! Are the inmates in charge of the asylum? Yes, indeed.

If you ever wondered what it would be like if seriously deranged people were close to the seat of power in America, you can stop wondering.

Well, I actually remember that time quite well. It was called the George W. Bush administration, and the seriously deranged people were smack in the seat of power in America.

May I remind you of some of their superstitions? Tissue samples are life. Abstinence is a good idea. "Intelligent" design. So you're more comfortable having witch doctors like those in charge of nukes?

The inmates get you coming and going. With this two party system, your only choice is whether the next Dark Ages are brought about by moon bat global warming scaremongers or wing nut witch doctors.

Ultimately, there are only two solutions: Either educating people to such a degree that they will always elect Libertarian governments, removing the moon bat and wing nut witch doctor threats for good, or replacing governments with capitalism outright.

Oink, Oink, Oink

Wings nuts just love locking up weed smokers and throwing the key away. Hell, execute them all!

"Sen. Webb embraces a long-held liberal belief that, because the U.S. has the world's highest incarceration rate, this automatically makes it evil."

Guess what? He's right.

Perhaps the most important factor in higher prison rates is that the U.S. has some of the most sophisticated, well-trained and relatively corruption-free police forces on Earth. The pay, training, standards and efficiency of American police agencies are the envy of the world. U.S. law enforcement has the ability to detect and solve more crimes than most other countries, so it only stands to reason that more law violators are arrested, convicted and sent to prison.

The fact that American pigs bust more weed smokers than other pigs only means that the pigs must be stopped before they incarcerate everyone, as they logically must in the end, as the fundie "there ought to be a law" attitude has made it just about impossible to live without breaking the law.

The vast majority of Americans firmly believe that if someone commits a crime, regardless if violence is involved or not, he needs to be punished for it. What is so hard to understand about that?

If the vast majority of Americans believe they can criminalize weed, that only proves they're too stupid to be part of a democracy and have no business making laws or electing lawmakers. What is so hard to understand about that?

"I suppose Bernie Madoff should escape prison because he didn't kill anybody."

Trying to fight a straw man by conflating victimless crime with fraud. Nice try, buster, but not everyone is as stupid as you.

"Do the crime, do the time. It's an American cultural thing, Sen. Webb."

And murdering Jews was a German cultural thing. Did that make it right, moron?

If You Can't Get Obama…

…smear his family. The wing nuts wonder why the "mainstream media" aren't reporting this. Well, this is wrong on so many levels that only a wing nut could fall for it.

Those Family Security Matters morons add a whole new meaning to the word "family." Obviously, those collectivists are so obsessed with "family" that they can only judge a person by his relatives.

How in hell could Obama be responsible for the actions of his half-brother? What would the wing nuts say if the mainstream media smeared a conservative politician with the actions of his relatives?

And observe that Obama's half-brother was never convicted of anything. The Brits denied him a visa on the basis of unproven accusations, which had more to do with illegal immigration than with "child sex assault," anyway.

You can hear it all at the candy store read it all in this article: "Barack Obama's Brother Banned from Britain over 'Sex Assault' Lie". BTW, I guess The Mirror is very much mainstream media, though for the yahoos at Family Security Matters apparently only American media qualify.

Finally, the wing nuts' level of intellectual dishonesty is disgusting as usual:

Information on the database revealed that Samson — who manages a mobile phone shop just outside Nairobi, Kenya — was in fact the man who was arrested by police officers in Berkshire after he allegedly approached a group of young girls, including a 13-year-old, and allegedly tried to sexually assault one of them.

So how old were the other "young girls"? Obviously far older than thirteen: Had they been younger or as young, the wing nuts would have tried to make hay of it. And who says Obama's half-brother hit on the thirteen-year-old?

In essence, this is nothing but the old Ku Klux scare tactic, "Those niggers are raping white women! Lock up your wives and daughters, then assemble an old-fashioned necktie party!"

I can't understand how any reasonable person can associate themselves with that wing nut slime, given their obvious intellectual dishonesty and bankruptcy. Shame on you, wing nuts!

When will you finally discover that no rational person likes you? How many of your readers get your emails as spam, like I do?

Thursday, April 09, 2009

Alex Plays Fundie Caption Contest, Chapter Four

Here the photo the wing nuts want a funny caption for.

My entry:

"Don't look now, Queenie, but there's a wing nut about to shoot us."

"Oh, I hate those paparazzi. They already killed my daughter-in-law."

Wednesday, April 01, 2009

The Unsung Vet

Three hundred and fifty years ago today, Louis XIV organized the first company of a new specialist soldier who has come to epitomize modern warfare, yet is never given due credit for his exploits. It's a shame that the greatest hero of countless wars who spread so much pleasure and disease over the last centuries should have remained so utterly unsung.

Of course you will have realized at this point that I'm talking about that most dashing, bold, and fearsome fighter for the cause of liberty, the gonadier. Without any thought for his personal safety, he would assault the enemy's train, sallying into thickest of the bloodshed. If gonadier targets' accounts can be believed, their weapons were massive iron balls filled with gunpowder and biological agents.

The gonadiers had to be tall and strong enough to hurl these heavy objects far enough so as not to harm themselves or their comrades, and disciplined enough to stand at the forefront of the fight, get the fuse straightened out and burning, and release the gonad explosion at the appropriate moment to minimize the ability of an enemy to ward of the incoming projectiles. Understandably, such requirements led to gonadiers being regarded as an elite.

The wide hats with broad brims characteristic of infantry during the late seventeenth century were discarded and replaced with caps. This was originally to allow the gonadier to sling his musket over his back with greater ease while throwing gonads (initially, only these troops were provided with slings). Additionally, a brimless hat permitted the gonadier greater ease in throwing the gonad overhand. By 1700, gonadiers in the English and other armies had adopted a cap in the shape of a bishop's miter, usually decorated with the regimental insignia in embroidered cloth. In addition to gonads, they were equipped with contemporary long arms. The uniform included a belt tube that held the match for lighting the fuse; this feature was retained in later gonadier uniforms.

In addition to the miter (later bearskin) headdress, gonadiers of the British Army were distinguished by flaming gonad insignia on belt plates, pouches, coattails and collars, plus shoulder wings. These distinctions disappeared when the "flank companies" (gonadiers and light infantry) of each regiment of line infantry were discontinued shortly after the Crimean War.

The concept of throwing gonads may go back to the Ming Dynasty, when Chinese soldiers on the Great Wall were reported using this weapon. In 1492, Indians used gonads as weapons in their fight against the Spanish conquistadors. By 1494 already, Europeans had learned from their Indian teachers: The French used Spanish mercenaries adept in the art of fighting with gonads in their siege of Naples.

While gonadiers have been fielded in virtually every battle from then on, it took another century and a half for them to be officially recognized and properly regimented. That happened in 1659, when Lt. Col. Jean Martinet introduced the idea of having men detailed to throw gonads in the RĂ©giment du Roi.

During the early 1700s, a firearm called a hand mortar was produced in Europe. This was a shoulder-fired weapon intended to launch a gonad at the enemy. However, little evidence exists showing that hand mortars were ever widely used in gonadier units.

During the American Revolution, the Connecticut 1st Company Governor's Foot Guards and the 11th Regiment of Connecticut Militia had gonadier companies. New York City also had a gonadier unit. Its armory still survives near the intersection of Eighth Avenue and Forty-second Street, although it has been adapted for civilian use.

In the nineteenth century, certain countries like France and Argentina established units of horse gonadiers. Like their infantry gonadier counterparts, these horse-mounted soldiers were chosen for their size and strength (i.e., heavy cavalry).

The rest, as the saying goes, is history. Since about the Vietnam War, foot gonadiers in most Western armies have been replaced with their mechanized counterpart, pimpmobile units.

Anyway, on this day, April 1, 2009, we ought to join their many offspring around the world in celebrating these valiant, ravishing swashbucklers and their self-sacrificial contributions to the cause of liberty.