Thursday, March 12, 2009

Obama Saves the Children!

Yes we did! Levi is free — and hopefully will remain so and not be shot (gun wedded) and field dressed by some other prospective backwoods mother-in-law.

Surely, nobody will object if I say "we" in this collectivist age, where everything one person did was allegedly done by some nonexistent "we" that claims some unearned credit? And surely, nobody will object if I call an eighteen-year-old and a nineteen-year-old "children"? After all, wing nuts routinely refer to seventeen-year-olds as "children" talking about "statutory rape," and moon bats routinely refer to twenty-one-year-old criminals as "children" when they're about to be executed.

In any event, this should silence wing nuts. They sarcastically call Obama "The Messiah," but now he has worked his first miracle!

Obviously, that whole engagement shebang was engineered by the spin doctors of the McCain-Palin campaign. If you made the mistake of voting for those two scoundrels, wake up and see how you've been manipulated.

Levi got a job on an oil field, and now he's been fired as it turned out he'd have needed a high-school diploma. Wanna bet some spinmeister got him this job for the duration of the campaign, to make him appear appealing to the blue-collar crowd?

Levi and Bristol were about to get married, and now they're not. Wanna bet someone on the Palin campaign threatened to frame Levi's mom for selling little white pills and blackmailed him into playing along in that farce called engagement?

Now, where does our Messiah, Obama, come in? Well, if that corrupt, unethical, lying, manipulative bitch had been elected, she'd have forced those poor children to play out that charade for four up to a maximum of sixteen years (two terms as a vice idiot, and two as the idiot in chief).

So Levi Johnston would have been blackmailed to become a punch-clock worker trapped in a marriage with a woman he doesn't love, would have been sacrificed to playact impossible, nonexistent family "values" the fundie faithful believe in. All that saved him was the fact that Obama was elected instead.

Thus, The Messiah worked his first wonder and saved the children from a fate a thousand times worse than death. In the unlikely event that I ever get insane enough to pray, it'll be to our new Messiah. Obviously, his medicine is stronger than that of the fundies' invisible friend. How!

1 comment:

Anonymous said... John Hanson (1715-1783) was the first president (1780-1783) of the United States under the Confederation before the Constitution. He was an Oldenburg Moor, a black nobleman, and he, like, Elijah-Baptist-Mehdi, went to heaven in a chariot of fire and never died. He has returned as Obama!