Who's Laughing Now?

Investor Peter Schiff predicted the recession all along, but got laughed out of the studio. Who's laughing now?

No one. Least of all the fine tuners of economies and rulers of men left and right.

(Hat tip to Joshua Zader of The Atlasphere):

Brüno Will Brew No Tempest in a Teapot

You know that cliché about that freight train carrying a couple thousand tons of iron ore, pulled by four locomotives, bearing down on a Japanese subcompact car? You know, something that's in no way a pretty sight, but you keep looking anyway, for its sick entertainment value?

That's Brüno for you. You might as well skip this movie if it's not too late and you watched it already. (In case you've been living on the moon, the movie chronicles the misadventures of the eponymous gay, Austrian fashion reporter, embodied by Sacha "Borat" Baron Cohen.)

There's nothing good about that movie: I didn't expect a plot, but even the "acting," costumes, and mock German dialogue are too silly and over the top to be entertaining or credible to anybody but maybe to Palinesque hillbillies. You only keep watching and laughing at the reactions of allegedly real people that have to bear the brunt of this shit load of bad taste. (Whatever they paid that medium wasn't nearly enough.)

Unfortunately (?), nothing much happens. If there's one thing you can learn from this movie it's that these days even the worst kinds of people are more tolerant and less violent than I would have thought.

Or am I the only one who's not in on the joke here? I can't shake the feeling that those "real" people were mostly actors. Those references to Milli Vanilli must be Cohen's way of thumbing his nose at his credulous viewers.

It's hard to believe that that homophobic (mostly) white trash from Alabama and beyond let themselves get hit on and provoked by "Brüno" without killing him. But if that footage is genuine, it's fair to say that some day soon Cohen will probably get himself killed for his antics.

Whatever laughs you get out of Brüno are certainly too few to justify the movie's spreading of silly homophobic stereotypes. Dude, not funny.

Whither Iceland?

Iceland applied to join the European Union. Given her position in mid-Atlantic, one wonders why she didn't apply for statehood in the United States instead of joining the European slave states?

But then, with Obama in office, there's probably not much of a difference anymore.

A Boy Named Well

Alex extends his heartfelt congratulations and good wishes to the thousands of couples who named their baby son for him last year. (What? Conceited, me?) Anyway, I was considering sending y'all a toaster oven in recognition of your good taste, but then I thought you may not want to have a toaster oven with a baby in your home.

BTW, word is that one poor baby boy goes by the moniker of Bronx Mowgli now. If I ever have a son, I'm gonna name him Staten Island Chuck.

And Her Name Is Bobbie Brown?

(With apologies to Frank Zappa.)

Hey there, people, I'm Sarah Brown
They say I'm the cutest chick in town
My truck is fast, my gun is shiny
I tell all the Brights they can kiss my heinie
Here I am at a backwoods school
I'm dressing sharp 'n' I'm acting cool
I got an ice skater here wants to help with my daughter
Let him do all the PR 'n' maybe later he'll wed her

Oh god I am the American Dream
I do not think I'm too extreme
And I'm a handsome sort of a bitch
I'm gonna get that prez job 'n' be a real witch

(Get that prez get that prez get that prez get that prez job)

Black men's liberation
Came creeping all across the nation
I tell you people I was not weighty
When I got fucked by this dyke by the name of Katie
She made a little speech flat,
Aw, she tried to make me say what
She had my brains in a vice, but she left the trap
I guess it's still hooked on, but now it shoots just crap

Oh god I am the American Dream
But now I smell like turkey cream
And I'm a miserable sort of a bitch
Am I an ass or a lady… I don't know which

(I wonder, wonder, wonder, wonder)

So I went out 'n' bought me a business suit
I jingle your change, but I'm still kinda cute
I got a job doin' radio promo
And none of the cops can even tell I shot a homo
Eventually me 'n' a friend
Sorta drifted along into bailout land
I can sell you an hour on the tower of power
Long as I gets a little golden shower

Oh god I am the American Dream
With a bible up your butt till it makes you scream
And I'll do anything to get ahead
I lay awake nights sayin', fuck you, Kate!
Oh god, oh god, I'm so fantastic!
Thanks to Katie, I'm an intellectual spastic
And my name is Sarah Brown
Watch me now, I'm goin' down,
"Country first" is sort of brown
Watch me now, I'm goin' down,
And this dame, her shirt is brown
Watch her now, she's goin' down

United Breaks Guitars

Something very much like that happened to me when I flew United from LA to San Francisco some years ago. And that was before those terrorists flew jetliners into buildings. Nowadays I'd probably be arrested and tortured for complaining…

Who's the #1 villain here? The lowlifes on the tarmac that throw musical instruments?

Or their employer, which pays them minimum wage, motivating them to become lowlifes that break passengers' property? Or us passengers, who want the cheapest tickets, making it impossible for airlines to pay more than minimum wage?

Anyway, as long as airlines' service remains as bad, and security fascism as paranoid, I can only say: If you can't afford a private jet, don't fly, unless you absolutely have to. Go by car, or if possible, by train.

Dave Carroll stuck it to the man. So should you!

The Second Coming of Tess McGill

Or, there are barracudas in the typing pool.

In other words, capitalism is a two-way street. (Given the definition, voluntary cooperation to mutual advantage, that should be a no-brainer.)

If your employer screws you over, you screw him in the ass.

At a time when so many companies are laying off workers, slashing wages and benefits, and instituting furloughs, it's not surprising that some employees feel no obligation to be nice when they head out the door, says David Kaplan, management professor for Saint Louis University. "It's understandable," he adds, "because they feel the employer has violated the psychological contract with employees, and they don't feel they owe them anything."

Well, not just the psychological contract (there's such a thing as an oral contract), and they don't.

"If your employer has cut your salary and benefits to where your family is struggling financially, do you owe your employer that two weeks' notice when you leave?"

No, you don't. Your employer has decided that, as the ship is sinking, it's every man for himself, so you don't have to ask before you bail out.

Whether it's giving notice, training your replacement or abiding by noncompete agreements you may have signed, these post-employment niceties that were expected once upon a time are not a given in today's workplace.

"I think it's a function of the economy," says Lewis Maltby, president of the National Workrights Institute. "If your employer has been treating you well, morally you should give as much notice as you can. On the other hand, if your boss is screwing you, you don't want to be nice.

"It's a dog fight out there. No one is playing nice anymore. This is more ethics than law."

Indeed, you're not legally obligated to give notice, unless you have a detailed employment contract that says you have to.

Stick it to the man!

We Don't Need Michael Jackson!

This space was previously wasted by an article agreeing with the fascist swine, Peter King.

It has been shown that everything Pete King says is wrong. Whenever he says something, the opposite is true.

Thus, this article must have been wrong and has been duly removed.

Meet — the Silver Strings!

Meanwhile, over at Unspoken Words, friend Kushal has formed his own band. Enjoy!

The Opposite of Sarah Palin

Did you ever notice that the diametrical opposite of Sarah Palin is parasailing?

Phonetics aside, one is tropical, fun, and modern, and the other is…