All My Taxes Go to Ex's

(With apologies to George Strait.)

All my taxes go to ex's:
Yeah, Stateside is a place I'd dearly love to be.
But all my taxes go to ex's:
Might just as well hang myself in Tennessee.

IRS makes me pay towards the health insurance of each one,
Local taxes pay for pigs so chicks don't have to own a gun,
Alimony for monotony makes me lose m' sanity,
Child support for brats I didn't want
Got the law lookin' for me.

All my taxes go to ex's:
Yeah, Stateside is a place I'd dearly love to be.
But all my taxes go to ex's:
Might just as well hang myself in Tennessee.

I remember that old Frio River where I learned to swim.
And it brings to mind another time where I wore my welcome thin.
By transcendental meditation, I go there each night,
But I always come back to Freeport
Long before daylight.

All my ex's died in Texas,
For Freeport is a place I dearly love to be.
So all my ex's died in Texas,
And that's 'cause they hanged themselves in penury.

Some folks think I'm hidin',
It's been rumored that I died,
But I'm alive and well in Bahama.