Quote of the Day

"If you're gonna play the Game Boy, you gotta learn to play it right."

— Kenny Rogers, "The Gambler."

Poor Slave-Driving Millionaire Bitch

"I tried to enslave my husband. My husband refused to stay enslaved. The stress of trying to keep him enslaved and of stealing his money, and society's scorn for my inability to keep him enslaved, put me through hell. Poor little me."

— Elin Nordegren

"Now, as the divorce is finalized, Nordegren says she is working on her college degree in psychology…"

"A competent and self-confident person is incapable of jealousy in anything. Jealousy is invariably a symptom of neurotic insecurity."

— Robert A. Heinlein

Someone insane enough to be jealous should not be allowed to work as a psychologist.

"…and is feeling confident in her 'beliefs, my decisions and myself.' "

Her beliefs that it's right to own a human being and exclude others from his life. Her decision to destroy her poor, clueless husband's life through her jealousy. Her self, which does not exist apart from as a shade on the lives of others, apart from the degree to which she can make them dependent and suffer, as her substitute for self-worth and achievement.

"I believe in love because I've seen it. I've been there."

No. You can't tell love from slavery. Dumb bitch.

Would someone who likes blondes and intellectual slumming even more than me please marry her and separate her from her ill-gotten money?

Writer's Groupie, Eight Letters

Date: [Today]
Subject: [Job]
From: [Client]
To: [Alex]

Please translate the attached resource file to [languages].

Wordcunt - 298

Thanks,

[Client]

(Currently sarging for wordcunt #299.)

Your Social Security Check Just Bounced

Walter E. Williams reads the riot act to the government victims turned looters…

And they don't like it one bit.

To all the aging Pauls that want to rob Peter:

A dude accosts you on the street, "Hi. I'm a victim of Bernie Madoff. Give me my money back or I'll murder you."

Good idea?

The point is that those who paid into social security can only get their money back if it is robbed at gunpoint from others.

The criminal government is bankrupt, and no one has any right to get any more back from the government than what they can get out of the auctioning off of the government's assets. As the government is trillions in hock anyway and has practically no assets, no one will get more than a couple cents on the dollar, if anything. (Observe that most land the government claims to own is in fact unowned.)

The bang you just heard was the sound of a check bouncing.

"Paper is a mortgage on wealth that does not exist, backed by a gun aimed at those who are expected to produce it. Paper is a check drawn by legal looters upon an account which is not theirs: upon the virtue of the victims. Watch for the day when it bounces, marked: 'Account overdrawn.' "

— Francisco d'Anconia

If you have been defrauded by the government, don't be sad, though:

Hungarian farmer Nagosh was asked to buy 5,000 forints' worth of government bonds.

"But what collateral do you have?" he asked the party promoter.

"I vouch for it myself," the man declared self-confidently.

"And what if something happens to you?" the cautious farmer asked.

"Now, comrade, then you'll still have the party as a guarantor!"

"But if we assume that something should happen to the party?"

"Well, comrade, that ought to be worth 5,000 forints to you?"

Empire State Looter

Next week, the City Council is expected to approve 15 Penn Plaza, a proposed office tower that has generated some criticism from its neighbors — namely the owners of the Empire State Building, which is two blocks east.

The 67-story tower by Vornado Realty Trust is planned to rise as much as 1,216 feet on the site of the Hotel Pennsylvania at West 33rd Street. The tower is expected to get the green light, despite opposition from Community Board 5 and Malkin Holdings, which controls the Empire State Building.

Like guild socialism or fascism: Use the power of the state to get rid of superior competition, in this case of those who want to build a more modern and beautiful building a couple blocks from your aging landmark.

"Community Board 5 had unanimously voted down the project."

Damn NIMBYs.

However, the full City Council is expected to vote on Wednesday to grant Vornado the final approval needed to proceed with the project.

"The height and bulk of 15 Penn Plaza are the result of waivers and bonuses greatly in excess of code. Another waiver granted 15 Penn Plaza the right to build without setbacks," said Tony Malkin, president of Malkin Holdings, in a press statement.

Setbacks make a building apologize for its greatness. Setbacks are bad. And who can't use a bit of shade in the summer?

"At only 67 stories, 15 Penn Plaza would be as tall as the 102nd floor of the Empire State Building…"

So what? What's it to you how many or how few floors the competition has?

In fact, it shows how outdated your building is. No space between floors for modern wiring.

"…and would, if built, be as much a scar on the complexion of New York City as the loss of Penn Station."

Really? If anything, the ESB is the scar on the complexion of New York City. If you look at the rendering in the article, sleekly soaring 15 Penn Plaza is much more beautiful than the ESB with its atrocious setbacks, no matter how much the general public has gotten used to it and thus even grown attached to it. Goes to prove that the general public is stupid.

The City Planning Commission, which gave the development a green light last month, said in its report that "the prominence of the Empire State Building would not be significantly affected because the new building… would be shorter than the Empire State Building (approximately 230 feet shorter), and the two buildings are approximately 1,000 feet apart, which would further diminish the perceived height of the new building in more distant views."

Who cares about the prominence of the Empire State Building? I hope towers twice or thrice as tall will be built all around the ESB.

If anything, the ESB embodies all that's wrong with New York: bad architecture pandering to the bad taste of the masses and a stagnation that would protect views of an outdated building, short by today's standards, instead of building the taller towers the city deserves.

Whatever became of "Excelsior!"?

Damn you, Tony Munchkin, damn you to hell, for stabbing the New York skyline in the back so that you can squeeze some more ill-gotten gains out of your ugly 1,250-foot hand-me-down hovel with its idiotic zeppelin docking mast on top. Damn looter.

The Couch-Surfing Song

(With apologies to Enya.)

Let me sail, let me fail, let me see the world for free,
Let me reach, let me beach on the shores of luxury.
Let me sail, let me fail, let me crash upon your couch,
Let me reach, let me beach on both sides of the great sea.

Surf the couch, surf the couch, surf the couch…
Surf the couch, surf the couch, surf the couch…
Surf the couch, surf the couch, surf the couch…
Surf the couch, surf the couch, surf the couch…

From Nassau to Trump Tower — in the shade of ESB,
No Fiji, no Tiree, just one isle of NYC,
No Peru, no Cebu, fuck the power of Babylon,
From Bali and Cali — pay with lines that bring pigs on.

Turn it up, turn it up, turn it up.
Ah-ah-adieu… No.
Turn it up, turn it up, turn it up.
Ah-ah-adieu… No.
Turn it up, turn it up, turn it up.
Ah-ah-adieu… Yeah!

Surf the couch, surf the couch, surf the couch…
Surf the couch, surf the couch, surf the couch…
Surf the couch, surf the couch, surf the couch…
Surf the couch, surf the couch, surf the couch…

From New York to London, Turtle Bay to the Docklands,
From the deep clouds of weed to a loss north of ten grand,
Carry me on the waves to the lands I've never been,
Shelter me on the couches of the lands I've never seen.

We can surf, we can surf, we can see the world for free.
We can surf, we can surf…
Surf the couch, surf the couch, surf the couch…
We can cock, we can block, we can cock block with all chicks,
In return, you can stay at our armpit in the sticks.

We can surf, we can surf…
Surf the couch, surf the couch, surf the couch…
We can reach, we can beach on the shores of luxury.

We can surf, we can surf…
Surf the couch, surf the couch, surf the couch…
From Bali and Cali — pay with lines that bring pigs on.

We can surf, we can surf…
Surf the couch, surf the couch, surf the couch…
From Nassau to Trump Tower — in the shade of ESB.

We can surf, we can surf…
Surf the couch, surf the couch, surf the couch…
We can reach, we can beach on the shores of luxury.

We can surf, we can surf…
Surf the couch, surf the couch, surf the couch…
No Peru, no Cebu, fuck the power of Babylon.

We can surf, we can surf…
Surf the couch, surf the couch, surf the couch…

We can surf, we can surf…
Surf the couch, surf the couch, surf the couch…
Surf the couch, surf the couch, surf the couch…
Surf the couch, surf the couch, surf the couch…
Surf the couch, surf the couch, surf the couch…
Surf the couch, surf the couch, surf the couch…

Argh… Argh… Argh!

Fascinator = Something Died on Your Head

Why is it that if you want to visit the royal enclosure at Ascot (I guess that's where they keep the horse that rules Limeystan), females and males can get in with something that just died on their heads, but females not in a dress that doesn't give them a heatstroke and males not without a tie?

Well, my brain at least needs oxygen. That's what happens to you if you wear a tie long enough: You become a limey.

Fascinators… Apparently, people are fascinated by stupidity. I'm not. At least not the good way. Who wants to pick up something with the IQ of a peacock?

The fact that women would wear rags on their heads even if it doesn't rain that wouldn't protect them from the rain if it did rain and men annoying and potentially dangerous nooses of cloth round their necks just to appear to be paying homage to the significance of the event is disturbing. BTW, if they were really dressing for the significance of the event, they'd be covered in horse manure.

I do agree that royalty ought to be enclosed at all times, though. Best incarcerated along with all the other looters.