Tuesday, June 07, 2011

Alex Saves the World Wide Web

It has been brought to my attention that the English-speaking world wide web is being bogged down by the fact that the www abbreviation takes six to nine syllables to pronounces, twice to thrice the amount it takes to pronounce the original word. As www is an ubiquitous element that needs to be pronounced whenever a URL is given, the English-speaking world wide web and the economies built upon it are at a serious disadvantage competing with economies whose languages pronounce www as only three syllables. Furthermore, the US being the world's foremost economic and cultural power, a collapse of the American internet would precipitate the world back into the Middle Ages, or at least the 1950s, which is the same.

So what is to be done?

In my infinite generosity, I give you "three shrub," which is how www is to be pronounced in English from now on. Now, at only two syllables to the www, English-speaking countries will be able to easily out-compete Continental Europe and Asia.

No, don't thank me all at once.

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