Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Woman to English Dictionary, Lesson One

Woman: "Surviving a tough spot without help serves you better. As newlyweds, my husband and I were both laid off, and I got pregnant, but we had a plan B, C and D. When you have to get creative about money, you get the best out of yourself."

English: "I made my husband work like a slave so he could buy me the home that I wanted. I accomplished that mostly by withholding sex. Fortunately, he believes women don't want sex as badly as men do, so he didn't call my bluff. Plus, he believes in monoamory, so he couldn't do what any sane human being would do, like, fuck somebody else. Excuse me, I'm gonna seduce the pool boy now."

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