The Measure of a Birther

It seems wildly unlikely that the birthers' chief claim, Obama wasn't born in the US, is true. Why would Hawaii issue him a fake certificate of life birth?

Yet there still seems to be something wrong. Why would Obama otherwise be so secretive with his records?

It might be that he's just stubborn, too proud to give in. But why then give in as far as releasing the certificate of life birth?

There might be some other damaging information on his birth certificate, some information that doesn't appear on the certificate of life birth.

Of all the theories I've heard, this one looks like it fits the facts best (HT to Astute Bloggers):

Obama's biological father was not Obama, Sr., but one Frank Marshall Davis.

Evidence:

Obama looks more like Davis than like any of his allegedly biological relatives.

Davis wrote in some sort of an autobiographical novel that he and his wife had a threesome with a fourteen-year-old white girl by the name of Ann. Was that a fictionalized version of Obama's mother, Stanley Anne Dunham, then seventeen years old?

Obama's mother was pregnant when she married his alleged father. Had she been knocked up by some African-American guy and was looking for an African-American fall guy?

Obama's mother left him behind in Hawaii. Maybe she had no problem with that because she knew his real father was there?

Obama's grandfather Stanley Dunham took Obama to visit Davis regularly. Maybe because he knew Davis was Obama's real father?

It would explain why Obama moved to Chicago, Davis' hometown.

Obama had to have some connections to get into Chicago politics. His known relatives didn't have any, but Davis did.

Plus, in case you believe that Obama's Palin-level scribbling amounts to literary skills and that literary skills could be inherited genetically (!), it would even explain where Obama got his — from Davis, the commie "writer."

Obama's birth certificate would list his blood type, and that might disprove his alleged father's paternity.

This, of course, would help the birthers little. It wouldn't make Obama ineligible as the ruler of the US. It would merely show him to be less than forthright and concerned what the right would make out of the fact that he's the son of a notorious Chicago communist.

Would be interesting anyway. Hey, Obama, care to release some documents or submit to a DNA test?