Hippie Valley Hypocrites

(Without any apologies whatsoever to Fundie C. Riley.)

Hippie Valley EPA

I wanna tell you all a story 'bout a Hippie Valley single dad
Who had a teenager adopted who attended Hippie Valley Junior High
Well, this young man came home one afternoon and didn't even stop to play
And he said, Kev, I got a note here from the Hippie Valley EPA
Well, the note said, Mr. Traynor, you're flyin' your Gulfstream way too high
And it's reported you've been pollutin' and a drivin' round with girls and burnin' fuel
And we don't believe you oughta be a bringin' up your little boy this way
And it was signed by The Secretary, Hippie Valley EPA
Well, it happened that the EPA was gonna meet that very afternoon
And they were sure surprised when Mr. Traynor wore his .45 into the room
And as he walked up to the lectern I can still recall the words he had to say
He said, I'd like to address this meeting of the Hippie Valley EPA
Well, there's Gillian Anderson sittin' there and seven times she flew across the lake
And St. Obama sure seems to melt a lotta ice whenever he's away
And Philip D. Jones, can you tell us why your secretaries had to leave this town?
And shouldn't Hippie Gore be told to keep his thermostats all turned completely down?
James Cameron couldn't be here 'cause he played too long with his dirt bikes again
And if you watch Franny Armstrong's spot you'll find she's lost her little bit of brain
And then you have the nerve to tell me you think that as a father I'm not fit
Well, this is just a concentration camp and you're all Hippie Valley hypocrites
No, I wouldn't put you on because it really did, it happened just this way
When Kevin Traynor socked it to the Hippie Valley EPA