The RLC Franny Armstrong Challenge

"We 'killed' five people to make No Pressure — a mere blip compared to the 300,000 real people who now die each year from climate change."

— Franny Armstrong

Not that it matters, but I count at least seven "blips" murdered in Franny's wish-fulfillment fantasy: two student blips, three office blips, one soccer blip, and the blip that is Gillian Anderson.

(BTW, is it only me, or do those raised hands of all those climate nazis in the office at 1:40 remind you of the Hitler salute? Climate Heil!)

Not only is Franny unable or unwilling to count her victims, the 300,000 number is a lie, too.

Anyway, is it "kill" or kill? Sounds like those fascists would happily murder five to seven human beings in real life to save 300,000 others.

Well, we capitalist polluters are a little more moral than you hippie fascists.

"Be that as it may, this is not about practicality, but about inalienable rights. If the lives of one billion people could only be saved by sacrificing the rights of one individual, I would always choose to save the one and let the billion go to hell. Anything else is cannibalism."

"But aren't you then sacrificing the billion to save the one?"

"No. There is a difference between eating others and refusing to be eaten, whatever the consequences. My refusal to be fodder does not make me a murderer. My rights are inalienable. If others can only survive by sacrificing me, they have no right to live, to live by sacrificing me. They have no right to live as cannibals."

(Mysterious Boat, p. 146.)

So I ask that ugly, murderous hippie bitch Franny Armstrong: If killing five people to save 300,000 is OK with you, how about killing just one to save 300,000?

Yes, that's right, only one. The only person you have a right to kill — yourself.

In the name of the humanity you wish to exterminate, I challenge you to put your life where your big, lying mouth is. How many tons of carbon dioxide do we have to save in exchange for you to kill yourself?

I'm sure there's no better motivation for mankind to cut emissions — in fact, to do anything, whatever it takes — than the prospect of getting rid of a terrorist monstrosity like you.

You remind me of the day I crossed a mantis with a termite and got an insect that said grace before it ate the house. Only you're a cross between a nazi and a hippie. Can there be anything grosser in the universe?

Name your number, make a bid, and if mankind succeeds in cutting the required amount of carbon dioxide, you kill yourself. No excuses.

No pressure. Only honor. Oh, wait, I should spell that to a hypocritical liar like you…