Hooker from Toluca

Today (or rather, tonight) Reason and Liberty Central salutes a minority marginalized, nay, criminalized by the fascist fundie scum: the oldest, best, and most important profession in the world.

BTW, as sex is a spiritual experience, it is protected from government interference by the First and Fourteenth Amendments. So all laws against prostitution are null and void.

No spurious right to privacy necessary. Not that I expect the man to get that, as being a moron is a requirement for becoming a constitutional scholar or a judge.

Anyway, here goes (with apologies to Merle Haggard, Chinga Chavin, and Kinky Friedman):

We don't smoke marijuana in Toluca
We just take our drugs against VD
We got from that wannabe Chewbacca.
We like lovin' right, which ain't free.

We sure do turn finance into romance:
No money, no funny bunny honey.
We can't let our hair grow long and shaggy:
Gettin' your hair done sure costs fuckin' money.

And I'm proud to be a hooker from Toluca,
A place where even squares can use a ball.
We still flip off the pigs down at the courthouse,
And Hugh Grant, he's still the bestest john of all.

Fuck-me boots are still in style for girly footwear;
Beads and Roman sandals won't be seen.
BJs ain't the roughest thing on campus,
And Toluca still hasn't got a college dean.

I'm proud to be a hooker from Toluca,
A place where even squares can use a ball.
We still flip off the pigs down at the courthouse,
And Hugh Grant, he's still the bestest john of all.

And Hugh Grant, he's still the bestest john of all,
In Toluca, California, USA.