Top Ten Things Sarah Palin Can Do for Her Party and Her Country

(10) Tell Vladimir Putin (and his ex-KGB guards) to his face what she's telling about him behind his back.

(9) Start breeding brain cells like she breeds kids.

(8) Get her head back into her moose ass, fast.

(7) Have a brain switch operation with baby Trig, easily doubling her IQ.

(6) Move her Mormon tribe to Salt Lake City and run for village idiot.

(5) Shut the fuck up.

(4) Apply for a job she's qualified for, like janitor at the Wasilla town hall.

(3) Quintuple her IQ by going blond.

(2) Get laid by Dubya: As two negatives make a positive, their kids simply have to be geniuses.

And the single best thing Sarah Palin can do for her party and her country is:

(1) Go hunting with Dick Cheney.

No new fundies!